Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
COCAINE IS GR8
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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