I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
