ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can feel your judgement through the phone
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
