I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
