my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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