let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
