my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
