I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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