ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
