She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
