Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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