It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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