When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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