i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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