Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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