Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
