Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have aggressive nipples.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
