Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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