Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
