just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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