After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
