Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
