I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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