Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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