Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
