this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
