Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
