im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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