I need help removing her.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
