its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
