the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize