Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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