I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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