can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
