shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
