Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
do herpes really smell.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
