I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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