I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's never too late to be topless.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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