all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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