its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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