alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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