Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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