Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
