He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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