I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
