I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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