Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
