dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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