i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
