? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
