She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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