Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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