i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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