Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
