Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up under a house in Key West
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
