Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize